Okay, so I'm in the mall today, because I needed to get my new ring sized. While there, I strolled down to the shoe store (where I bought 8 dollar boots, yes, that is not a misprint), and happened to glance up at one of the TV monitors they have playing helpful tips and hints as you stroll the corridor of the mall. This "tip" happened to be about how Mom can help Dad out if she has to go out of town on a business trip. Some examples, pack the kids lunches ahead of time so Dad won't forget to do it, lay out however many days of outfits your kids will need, so Dad won't have to worry about what matches what, and lastly, don't forget to give Dad a great big "thank you" kiss when you arrive home for doing such a good job while you were gone.
Seriously? Really? I am so tired of things like this. It is, unfortunately for you readers, a giant peeve of mine of which I am about to rant. When exactly did we give men license to be this incompetent? When did we women, (men, society, whoever) decide that men were so stupid that they couldn't be troubled to dress and feed their own children without massive intervention from Mom? Most of us went into marriage and parenthood thinking that it was an equal partnership, but I know of few couples (okay, let me be clear here, I know of no couples) where this is actually the case. And one of the reasons? We just assume out of the gate that Dads can't do what Moms do, so we give them a pass. I'm guilty of it. I used to lay out clothes for my husband to dress my kiddos in, and my mom thinks I still should, because yowza, you should see some of the outfits he's come up with. And I'm sure other moms do the same. We're the same mom who never even mentions that cupcakes that need to be brought into class, the homework that needs to be checked, the doctor appointments that need to be made, because we've basically taken Dad out of the equation for things like that. In any given day, I make about a million kid related decisions that my husband never hears about, never knows about, never cares about. He blissfully goes on unaware, because that's just the way it is. Now, note that I'm not blaming him for it (well, not 100% anyway). The fault also lies with me, and everyone who decided that this was perfectly acceptable behavior. But is it? Maybe for some people it is. Maybe some people are content with the way things are, and I suppose that if it works for them, I should just shut up. But, it doesn't work for me. I'm not about to treat my husband like a semi-competent babysitter. He's an equal part of these children, and I think should be in every way. That's why I stopped laying out clothes and packing lunches. And that's why I'm ranting right now. A friend and I were having lunch with two dads the other day and brought up this subject. One of the dads said that men just have so much to think about during the day that the kids and family slip to the back. To which I say, why? And, is that really an excuse? My life and job are just as hectic and time consuming as my husband's, yet, my children and family are always "up front" in my mind. As it should be. As it should be for everyone.
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. (But I'm not!)