Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I cried today.

And some of you may be thinking, so what? But, here's a fact you may not know about me: I am not a crier. I used to be. I used to cry, as they say, "at the drop of a hat". I was not shy about expressing my emotions. I would cry when I was happy, I would cry when I was sad, I would cry when I was angry, and I would cry because I couldn't find my shoes.

But somewhere along the line, the tears dried up. This happened for a lot of reasons, I guess. I stopped crying because big girls don't cry. I stopped crying because it didn't do any good anyway. I stopped crying because I didn't want to appear weak. I stopped crying because I was afraid that if I did cry, the fragile house of cards upon which I perched would collapse. But most of all, I knew that if I started crying, I wouldn't be able to stop.

I hope I wasn't right.

4 comments:

Mimi said...

I just want to know that you are okay. It breaks my heart to think about you crying and being hurt. I do love you, my daughter.

Rusty David said...

I'll rub your back and your feet tonight. It won't change what happened today, but it will feel good and might make you relax some.

Tracy said...

I'm so sorry you had a rough day. I hope today was better.

Tamara @ Watching the Grass Grow said...

Tobye, I hope whatever it was that made you cry is better/getting better. Post an update when you get a chance.