The Warrior Pose

Sometimes, there is sadness.

2011-04-01T15:01:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, in my life, there is sadness. Probably there is sadness in yours too. If we're being honest, there may be a lot of sadness. And I guess I'm wondering today why we don't ever talk about it.

Oh, we talk about it in a global sense. Depression and mental illness are everywhere in television, print and prescription ads for Cymbalta and the one with the windup doll (or is that Cymbalta?). But in our own little lives, sadness and depression of any sort are still so taboo. We don't allow ourselves to be sad. Or, we don't allow ourselves to be visibly sad. We are expected to "get over" things so quickly and never, never be anything less than cheery.

My grandmother died recently. I didn't cry. I guess there are a lot of reasons why I didn't cry, but one of the biggest ones was that no one else was crying either. No one else wanted to appear sad, to admit they had experienced a loss. I teared up at her grave, but didn't break. I sat around blankly and watched a lot of TV as an escape, but only when no one was around. I couldn't be seen as weak, after all. But I didn't cry. I didn't want to have to explain my sadness, or to defend it. I didn't think anyone wanted to watch me wallow in it. But here's the thing: I was sad. I'm still sad. I'm sad a lot. I'm not just sad about my grandmother. But I'd never admit that in mixed company.

Everything in my life is not perfect. Everything in my life is not jolly. When someone asks me how I am doing, I always answer the same way: "Fantastic." I'm not really fantastic. In fact, if you were to take a poll, I am probably fantastic about 12% of the time, maybe less. But I say it every time. Why? Because no one wants to talk about feeling any differently. My brother and I used to love a comedy routine by Paul Reiser where he says when people ask how you are doing, they are really requesting that you "register that I asked, and then proceed not to tell me". So I have my stock answer, and I move on.

I'm not a miserable person, and I don't believe in dumping my sadness onto everyone. We all know plenty of people who have become, probably because they can't speak about their real emotions, completely inappropriate over sharers. The cashier at 7-11 who proceeds to tell you about the hellacious fight she had with her boyfriend the night before, the Facebook friends who post every mundane and excruciating detail of their existence in the hopes that someone gives a crap, the acquaintance who shares with a group that she got into a fist fight with her neighbor, and I could go on and on. Do we do this because we can't be real with the people we should be being real with? When did actual emotions become such a taboo?

I don't know how to end this. I don't have a point, or a solution. I just feel sad. And if you love me, you probably should know that.

And this pretty much explains why I don't cook

2011-03-29T14:49:00.002-04:00

Lest anyone think I am that clever, let me tell you that I I found this here. And it is the sad, yet hilariously honest truth. Here's what I hate about cooking:

The deciding what exactly I am going to cook part. Menu planning. Snore city.
The going shopping for ingredients I am never going to use again part. Dried mustard seed anyone? Anyone ever using that again?
The cutting up of things part. Paring knives are not my friends. Neither are peelers.
The touching of raw meat part. There is probably some sort of mathematical equation to sum up how the more I have to touch raw meet the less likely I am to want to eat it later.
The mess left on the stove that my husband won't clean up part.
The having tons of dishes to wash part. See above about husband not cleaning part.
The my kids saying "What's this", and "I don't like (insert crap food I made here)"
The having leftovers that I know I won't eat but make me feel vaguely guilty part.
The having to dispose of those leftovers weeks later and seeing what has become of them part and again feeling non-virtuous and like I am wasting the planet's natural resources because I don't like leftover squash and noodle casserole.

Here's what I like about cooking:

Um, nothing. I don't even usually like what I cooked, and even if I do, the things I hate about the experience far outweigh the possible food goodness. Because I can achieve food goodness from opening a bag of potato chips and eating them with lots of dip and there is little to no clean up from that.

So, yeah. I said it. And now I'll go see what's in the refrigerator to make for dinner.

Happy Birthday.

2010-09-17T08:57:00.002-04:00

"Yesterday it was my birthday, I hung one more year on the line. I should be depressed, cause my life is a mess, but I'm having a good time....."

Okay, so my birthday was Tuesday, but whatever, right? I wish I had a fun, exciting birthday story to share, but unfortunately I am caught up in yet another round of sleeplessness, which made my birthday, along with most of my days lately, pretty miserable.

I have trouble sleeping. I have for a while. There are periods where it is tolerable, and periods where it is not. Now it is not. My problem is frustrating. It isn't so much the going to sleep that's a problem. I'm pretty exhausted every night and go to sleep without too much effort. That hasn't always been the case. Several years ago, I went through a period where I just couldn't even go to sleep, which was super duper crappy. This problem, though, is at this point almost equally sucky. I got to sleep. Then, about an hour later, I wake up. And an hour later, I wake up again. And again. And again. And so on. All night long. Sometimes I count the number of wake ups. Sometimes they number 4 or 5. Other times, 15. Sometimes I go back to sleep pretty quickly. Other times, I am awake for longer. It all adds up to an unproductive night of sleeping, which leads to an unproductive day, which leads to a cranky night, which leads to tension in the house. So.

I have been putting off any sort of medical intervention on this. I have a strange problem with feeling like some sort of addict when I go to a doctor. I don't know why. I've only taken sleeping pills once before, during my third pregnancy, when my insomnia was at its worst. And that was almost 6 years ago. Still, I feel like I walk in, and they are whispering, "What does she want NOW?" I know they aren't. Rationally, I know this. But the feeling persists. But I went yesterday. And suffered through the self induced humiliation. I am now the proud taker of Ambien, AND just to keep my anxiety at bay, Zoloft. Yay.

I hope it works though. I'd really like to sleep again.

Slowly easing back in.....

2010-08-27T13:05:00.004-04:00

With an easy post! (It does happen to be completely true, though. I have started and stopped flossing many, many times over the years.) And, another aside. Despite my lack of flossing, my spotty dentist visiting track record (my last visit, earlier in the summer, was the first in 4 years, sorry, Mom), and the fact that I only use a little bit of toothpaste because I hate when my mouth gets all foamy, I have perfect teeth. Seriously. Every time I do venture near a dental chair, I'm told by all that serve me what perfect teeth I have. "Just keep doing what you're doing," my dentist told me last time. Sure thing, bud. See you in a few years.

Stay tuned for a post where I wax nostalgic about the fact that my kids are growing up entirely too fast.

I think my kids are absolutely stunning

2010-06-24T15:12:00.003-04:00

So I'm subjecting you to pictures of them.

My brother got married (at the beach!) which was lovely and great and I wish them the best and all that, but it was a fantastic opportunity for my kids to dress up in fancy outfits and for me to take pictures of them while they did it. They all performed admirably in service and managed to look amazing while doing it.

They are so totally awesome. I should look at these pictures every time I get frustrated by their constant bickering, tattling, and general disagreeableness. Look, I just made up a very long new word.

Riley wore her hair in a "messy bun" that required 22 bobby pins to stay in. Ally had to have her hair curled TWICE, and all the curls still fell out before the ceremony. I had to use water, spray gel and actual hair spray on Jeremiah to get his hair to lay down as much as it did. The end result was totally worth it though, don't you think?

Can you believe I actually made these?

2010-05-07T13:33:00.003-04:00

(As everyone who knows me and my cooking abilities laughs hysterically....)

No, really. I did. Okay, to be fair, the husband did the piping. But, I'm doggone proud of my efforts. Tuxedo Strawberries for the spring auction at my children's school. Made by me. Yay!

What we've been doing

2010-05-05T14:54:00.007-04:00

And along with this incredibly descriptive and imaginative title I bring you photos, the first of which being:

This is Riley at a cheer competition in Richmond, VA. This spring has been literally littered (hmm, does that qualify as alliteration?) with cheer comps of all shapes and sizes. We've been to Ocean City, Richmond, Washington DC, and probably other places I have blocked out of my mind due to the overindulgence of glitter and big hair bows. Nonetheless, Riley has had a pretty productive season, and has finally mastered the elusive standing back handspring. Now, she's learning the even more elusive double standing back handspring. I wish her luck.

Here we are on our Easter cruise to Mexico. It was a lovely, albeit very short, very crowded trip and we got to visit some Mayan ruins, which the kids could have cared less about. We did, however, learn from our guide that the movie 2012 got it all wrong. Sure, the Mayan calendar is ending on December whatever in 2012, but that's just the current calendar, which has been going for 5000 years. At the end of it, another 5000 year one starts. Or something like that. But I'm breathing easier now, and I'm sure you are too.

Here we have Riley running in her first ever race. Winchester has their Apple Blossom Festival every year and one of the events is the Kids' Bloomin Mile. Despite no prior running for a purpose experience, Riley decided to enter and actually did pretty well. She placed 48th in her age group, 8 and 9 year old girls, with a time of 8:58. I know I'd be hard pressed to run a mile in under nine minutes (Wait, let me stop lying. I've be hard pressed to run a mile, period), so I'm giving her mad props. "You better work (cover girl), work it girl (give it a twirl). Do your thing...." And yes, I just quoted a RuPaul song. What of it?

And lastly, cause I'm lazy and getting tired of cutting and pasting pictures from Facebook (shaddup, I'm at work, not at home where I have easier access to my pictures. Sorry Dad. I do work, really, I do), here's Ally at the above mentioned Apple Blossom Festival Grand Feature Parade. Doesn't she look totally Small Town America? And adorable?

So folks, I am still alive and kicking. I think of my 2 or 3 faithful readers often. Hope you are all doing well. And with that I say, Seacrest out. And I'm not even watching American Idol this year.

Gosh, I must be really boring.

2010-04-13T16:40:00.002-04:00

So, I signed up for a Twitter account today. No idea why. It was just something I'd been kicking around in regards to my football blog and my dreams of sports writing grandeur so I thought I'd go ahead and do it. Then, I realized: I have nothing to tweet about. I find it difficult to even think of anything to say to update my Facebook status.

I am perhaps the dullest individual on the planet.

But (shameless plug) if you want to follow me: vtfootballgirl. I hope I did that right. Perhaps someday, I'll have something to say. And any of you that tweet (twit? Whatever.) let me know, and I'll follow you too. We can be Twitter pals.

I am not sick. I am not sick. I will not be sick.

2010-03-29T18:32:00.002-04:00

Repeat it with me. Repeat it again. I am going to shake this sinus infection. I am going to be just fine for my trip on Thursday.

Did I mention I'm going on a trip? A cruise, no less. With all of my wonderful, lovely, beautiful family. I have a miracle pack of 3 day antibiotics, and I am quite certain it is going to knock out this sinus infection before I get on a plane.

Did I also mention that Ally threw up all night last night?

Wonder where she heard that one?

2010-02-27T17:30:00.002-05:00

Said to me by Ally earlier this week, when I was trying to get her ready for daycare: "Mom, I am NOT in the mood for this today!".

Hmmm. Don't know anyone who would have ever said that to her. Where in the world could she have come up with such a phrase? I am quite sure that I am always patient, kind and easygoing while trying to get her and two other children up, dressed, and out the door by 7:30. Quite sure.

This doesn't make me a bad mom, does it?

2010-02-21T15:26:00.002-05:00

My kids LOVE my iTouch. They love the games, the apps, and they love to listen to songs. They have their own playlist with their favorites, like all the Phineas and Ferb numbers, plus Wizard of Oz songs for Ally, songs from the Christian kids group Go Fish, and Jeremiah is partial to New Divide by Linkin Park. Sometimes they find new songs they like. This is great, especially when it's a song like this. (I adore TobyMac.)

But, Ally came to me the other night and told me that she had a new favorite song. It was......"Freak on a Leash" by KoRn. And I laughed. That doesn't make me a bad mom, right? Right?

Super Duper Big Snow

2010-02-07T14:22:00.002-05:00

Riley, enjoying a seat on an enormous pile of the fluffy stuff.

Ally used the giant pile of snow as a sliding board.

Jeremiah chose to jump from the top of the snowbank. He got stuck when he landed!

Macho loves the snow. I however, do not like picking the snow/ice balls off of him.

Hi everyone! Happy Blizzard 2010!

Snow, snow, snow. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

2010-02-06T11:55:00.003-05:00

Ahhh, snow. Snow glorious snow. Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

So, it's snowing again. A lot. And, Rusty is not here. He is stuck at work and won't be home until hopefully Sunday. So, any shoveling that's to be done, has to be done by me, and my bum ankle. My fantastic neighbor used the snow blower on the drive twice yesterday, but I think today the task just overwhelmed him. He dug a doggy path for me though, so thanks, Aaron!

Well, it looks like I have two choices here. To complain about the wet clothes and boots, lost mittens, tiny snow balls on my shih tzu, the never ending parade of kids in and out, and in and out. I could do that. OR, I could embrace it. And love it. So here goes.

Reasons why I love snow:

It is extraordinarily beautiful, even when it it coming down in buckets and has been for over 24 hours.
It is so quiet. Rain is loud. Wind is loud. But snow is utterly silent. The world seems silent now, save for the occasional (and I do mean occasional) sweep of the snowplow, or someone's snow blower.
Everything stops. Responsibility (except for the nagging sense that I need to GET OUT THERE AND SHOVEL MY DRIVEWAY) ceases to matter. We eat popcorn and drink hot chocolate. We eat cereal for dinner if we want to. (Well, who am I kidding? We do that even when it doesn't snow!) We watch lots and lots of Sponge Bob, Phineas and Ferb and Harry Potter. We play video games all day long.
It's okay that the house is a mess. How can it stay clean with my children, plus my neighbor's children tromping through it in wet snow boots every half hour?
I can make chili in the crock pot and smell it cooking all day. Yum.

I think that's all for now. Maybe I'll think of a few more. But I'm determined to be cheerful and happy, because after all, your attitude is what most affects your circumstances. :) Right?

I am an incredibly proficient speller.

2010-01-29T13:46:00.002-05:00

Really. I am. It is a good thing to be, in some ways. I don't worry about sending letters or texts with embarrassing misspellings. I never had any trouble with spelling tests. (Although I never did well at spelling bees, due mostly to my crippling fear of doing anything in public).

But, in some ways, it kind of sucks. I am kind of a spelling snob. I can't read anything with a misspelling and not think, "ugh, what kind of idiot wrote that!". Including, sadly, love letters from my husband, e-mails and texts from my best friend, and people's Facebook comments and status updates.

Luckily, the good folks (or I guess I should say folk. Apparently it's just one guy.) at The Oatmeal have given me this list of words YOU need to stop misspelling. It has all my favorites! Lose instead of loose. A lot rather than alot. The difference between effect and affect. And, the one that personally drives me the most bonkers, when to use its vs. it's.

Read it, people. Live it. Love it. It's our language. (See how I used it's there? That stands for it is.)

Crutches.

2010-01-24T17:54:00.002-05:00

I vowed I would not use them. I remember them not at all fondly from 10 years ago. But, today, I caved. I have crutches. You can only hop for so long.

Drat.

Riley's 1st competition

2010-01-23T11:41:00.003-05:00

I've had this video for a couple of weeks, and kept forgetting to post it. It's terrible quality, unfortunately, so bonus points if you can actually identify Riley. I was trying to get her on film doing her back handsprings. I kinda succeeded.

And I have learned that I am a terrible videographer. I jump all over the place.

Guess I'm not as tough as I imagined

2010-01-22T11:13:00.002-05:00

I fancy myself to be a pretty tough customer. You have to be, as a mom. No time to get sick, and all that stuff. I'm pretty good at biting the bullet and just keeping on keeping on.

Except......

I had some pins and a plate removed from my ankle on Wednesday. Now it's Friday, and I still can't walk. In fact, I don't even like to dangle my foot off the bed because all the blood rushes to it and produces a very unpleasant tingling pain.

I am a total pain wuss. (Do you spell wuss with one s or two?) Just wondering.

Also, Ally has Riley's iTouch and has played the Chipette version of "Hot and Cold" no less than 64 times in the last hour. She is sitting on the stairs just outside my bedroom door while doing this. I may not last much longer.

In which I beat myself up for not sticking to anything...

2009-12-29T14:20:00.002-05:00

Well folks, it's that time again. The new year. Clean slate. Tabula rasa, as it were. And, yet again, I let myself down. I'll briefly summarize my goals for 2009 and then let you know how I did.

I was going to write more this year. Well, that's a wash, I guess. My mom would tell you that my writing went WAAY down on this blog, which is true, but I spent a ton of time writing about Hokie football at The Football Girl, and although it's not a paying gig or anything, I did get asked to be a featured writer at Fire Bryan Stinespring.com, even though I don't do it much. I noticed during football season that my stats from the football site were like 10 times higher than those for this humble blog, so I focused my efforts there. Which made my mom mad, but didn't get much reaction from anyone else. I started this blog with several goals, one of which was to keep my family and friends updated on my children, but the other was to be able to just write, you know? Write about what was making me happy, what was making me sad, what was keeping me sane. (Or insane). I didn't do much of that. This was a rough year for me in a lot of ways, and I chickened out about airing my dirty laundry in a public forum. Maybe I didn't want my spotless reputation tarnished. Maybe I didn't want to admit weakness. Maybe I was just too sad to write. I don't know.
I was going to watch less trash tv in 2009. And, I did it, pretty much. I stayed away from VH1 reality shows for the most part, and found a few new shows that I adore, like Glee, Modern Family, and Castle, which I have to credit my husband for keeping on the DVR for an inordinately long time, long enough to get me interested.
I was going to exercise twice a week. Well, didn't happen. I am hanging my head, and my flabby body, in shame.
I was going to admit that I'm not a crafty/bakey mom. I sort of did this, I guess. When my good friend Deb wanted to get the kids together to bake Christmas cookies, I flatly refused. So ha.

So what do I want to do this year? Shall I set the same goals? Just admit that I'll never be the writer I dream about? Face the facts that there will never be a book out there with my name as the author? Quit blogging altogether? I just don't know. Just like I don't know how to end this entry. So, I'll say this; to be continued, okay?

(My) Snow Angels

2009-12-20T11:48:00.003-05:00

So we have an absolute mountain of snow here in VA. Our driveway has been snowplowed no less than three times, we've played in the snow two times, my dryer has run continuously drying mittens, hats and gloves, AND I forgot that little dogs with long hair accumulate little snow balls all over them when they go outside.

I'm gathering my strength to make Christmas cookies. Yesterday the girls and I (and when I say the girls and I, I really mean I) made Chex mix for teachers gifts. Riley informed me that she "volunteered" me to make Christmas cookies for her class, so.....(Those of you who know me know that baking is not very high on my list of things I enjoy. It's about on par with cutting my son's toenails, in fact).

But, the weather outside, while frightful, made for some great photo opportunities, and since Facebook is being stupid about letting me upload pictures, viola! You get to see them here first.

In case anyone was wondering, I do indeed still have a son. He was just playing his XBox yesterday and refused to join in the snow fun. He and Riley took the above mentioned small dog with long hair outside today to play. But I didn't feel like suiting up again, so, no pictures of him.

A Strange Way to Save the World

2009-12-14T10:36:00.002-05:00

As I feared it might, this blog is turning out to be less of my creative musings (of which I must not have many of!) and more of a "come look at how cute my kids are". But, you're reading, so thank you.

Last night was our church Christmas production. We really do it up at Stephens City United Methodist. The name of the play/musical was "Angel Alert", and both of my girls had roles. Jeremiah refused to participate in fear that he'd have to sing a solo. First up: Riley. She sang a solo/duet and it was, of course, wonderful. Check it out:

And here's Ally as a shepherd. Due to technical difficulties (or the fact that I thought I was recording, and was not) it's a quickie, but a cutie.

Ahhh, Christmas. Tis the season for Christmas plays, children with garland halos, punch and cookies, whispered plans, countdown calendars, hidden elves, new ornaments, and general good tidings and cheer. Love and joy come to you, and to you your wassail too; and God bless you and send you a Happy New Year, and God send you a Happy New Year.

(BTW, a wassail is either another way of saying caroling, or a hot spiced punch often associated with Christmas. Either way, enjoy.)

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2009-12-06T16:25:00.008-05:00

So, with the title, I bet you're expecting snow pictures, but I haven't been home when the kids were outside and dear hubby "couldn't find" the camera, which was in the place it is always kept. So, I have these:

Ally hugging our inflatable Santa (obviously not taken this weekend, note the tank top and shorts!)

Jeremiah and Tanner hoping for a Saints victory (currently in OT vs. the Skins)

Ally in her Christmas PJ's

The only evidence I have that my kids have had fun outside!

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

There you go, Mimi. Pictures.

2009-12-03T14:13:00.002-05:00

I wonder what would happen, if we all tried to do a little more of this, and a little less of this:

$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Just wondering.......

Halloween, Halloween

2009-11-02T15:54:00.002-05:00

A Touch of Nostalgia

2009-10-25T14:43:00.004-04:00

My mother had to sell my grandmother's house last week. My grandmother has been deteriorating in health for, well, as long as I can remember really, but she's actually gotten to the point where she can't be alone. I totally understand this. I also completely support my mom in what she had to do. And Heaven knows, no one else was helping her out. But, I can't help feeling a wee bit of the nostalgia. It is again the ending of an era of my life. A lot of my childhood was spent in and around that house.

Here's what I remember.

I remember the dogwood tree in the front yard. It was no good for climbing, but we would pick the red berries and put them in this little metal bucket that must have been 50 years old. I remember the tree in the back yard. I think it was an elm. It had a perfect branch for a swing and my grandfather made one from a piece of wood and rope. I remember that you could climb out of the upstairs window and get on the roof, not that I ever did it, of course. I remember going into the stifling hot attic and getting out the old board games, "Uncle Wiggly", "Go to the Head of the Class", a totally old school "Cootie" and something I think was called "Spirograph" (and it was, I just checked it out on ebay, and am totally getting one). I remember playing with my brother in the dark and moldy basement. We played a game we called (bag over head embarrassed right now) "Jerry and Tuffy's Cheese Factory". It involved pretending we were the mice from Tom and Jerry and using hula hoops to make cheese. I remember how they decorated for Christmas the exact same way every year and that the star on their Christmas tree blinked, which my Dad hated, because he hates blinking lights. I remember interminably long Christmas dinners, in which we ate very little ham and turkey in anticipation of present time. I remember after we went to Christmas Eve service, my grandfather would always slice up some Hickory Farm summer sausage and some cheese. I remember going trick or treating on their street because we never lived in a neighborhood. I remember my grandmother would always count how many trick or treaters she had. I remember my dad would always turn the house number sign on their lamppost upside down. I remember that my grandparents would always sit out in their front yard every summer night. All the neighbors did. It was just what people did in that neighborhood. I remember the fake fruit that hung in my grandmother's kitchen, and that she had a shelf that pulled out underneath her wall oven where she always made her morning toast. I remember she used to make real popcorn and we would eat it and watch Hee Haw. I remember that one night I got locked in the bathroom because the door was so old and hard to open. I had to crawl through the window, which was no easy feat either, because the window had been painted shut. I remember being sick there one day, and lying on the bed in the guest room, underneath old heavy quilts, the sheets feeling so wonderfully cold.

I remember lots of things. I'm sorry that it had to come to this. I'm sorry that life is so incredibly long, yet incredibly short at the same time. I love you, Nan. I wish you had been able to stay home.

9 is the new 20.

2009-10-19T15:55:00.003-04:00

My oldest daughter turned nine earlier this month. It's still very young, but anyone with girls can attest to the fact, that it's not as young as it used to be. Overnight, my little girl has turned into a deodorant wearing, eye rolling, skinny jeans obsessed teenager. She has become more excited about deodorant than any person I've ever seen. Both Husband and I have seen her sniffing her pits with glee and applying more "Degree Girl". Because it's "for girls, Mom".

How?

I have no idea. None. She's even asking about shaving her legs. (Not gonna happen any time soon, my dear. And you'll thank me for this later.) To quote a John Mellencamp song I particularly enjoy, "That's okay, I knew that this would happen, but I was hoping not today". I knew she would eventually start to transform from wide eyed child to dreaded tween. I knew she would. I just didn't think it would happen yet.

For now, I guess I'll be content that she still loves me more than she hates me, and isn't completely disgusted by my very presence. It's probably the best I can hope for at this point.

The Wizards of Oz

2009-10-13T08:36:00.002-04:00

(As told by Ally)

A few weeks ago, Ally's preschool teacher let Ally color some pictures in a Wizard of Oz coloring book. Ally was hooked. Despite never having seen the movie, or knowing anything about it, she fell deeply in love with it. She wanted the movie, the dolls, wanted to be Tin Man for Halloween. She was ga-ga for it. Thanks to her Mimi, she now has the movie (and the dolls!) and has watched it a few hundred times. And the witch, who used to scare the living pee out of me, doesn't bother her a bit. So, in her words, pretty much, here is the story:

"Okay, Mom. Here's what happens. Now, it all starts out brown, because Candace is brown. It's just all brown. But don't worry, because the Wizards of Oz is beautiful and colorful. Just wait for it. Dorothy falls into the pigs, then then mean woman takes Teddo, but he escapes. See, he's a smart dog. Then, the tomato comes. It's a big tomato, and it takes her house away. Except, Mom, it doesn't really do that. Really she's just having a dream. But, she gets to the Wizards of Oz and meets Scarecrow and Tin Man and Lion, and they are really her friends from Candace. Teddo is the bravest, because he helps save Dorothy. Then, she pours water on the witch and she disappears. But, remember, Mom, it was all just a dream. Then she wakes up and it's brown again, and all her friends are there."

Yep. Sounds about right. She did change her mind about the Tin Man costume, because she liked the ruby slippers, so now we are going to be Dorothy. We even have Teddo in a basket. It promises to be great.

Just thought this was funny.

2009-10-02T13:42:00.001-04:00

see more Political Pictures

God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.

2009-09-30T11:19:00.002-04:00

This old man and me, were at the bar and we
were having us some beers and swapping I don't cares
Talking politics, blonde and red-head chicks
Old dogs and new tricks and habits we ain't kicked
We talked about Gods grace and all the hell we raised
Then I heard the ol' man say;God is great, beer is good and people are crazy

He said "I fought two wars,Been married and divorced"
What brings you to Ohio?He said "Damned if I know"
We talked an hour or two about every girl we knew
What all we put them through
Like two old boys will do
We pondered life and death
He lit a cigarette
He said "These damn things will kill me yet;
But God is great, beer is good and people are crazy"

Last call at 2am I said goodbye to him I never talked to him again
Then one sunny day, I saw the old mans face
Front page Obituary, he was a millionare
he left his fortune to some guy he barely knew,
his kids were mad as hell
But me, I'm doing well
And I dropped by today, to just say thanks and pray,
I left a six-pack right there on his grave and I said:
God is great,beer is good, and people are crazy.

That's such a funny song. My daughter loves it because it's "Christian" music, and she thinks it's funny that someone other than me likes beer.

I heard this song yesterday on the radio as I was driving in the beautiful fall weather, and I just thought, yeah, that's so very true. We've been talking in Bible Study about revelation and the different ways that God reveals himself to us, one being nature. And while it doesn't give you a personal relationship with God, so to speak, the beauty of nature, especially this time of year, always hits me hard again. I look at the mountains, the leaves, the pumpkins, and feel the cool breeze on a sunny day, and think again that God has made such a perfect creation for us to enjoy.

Then, when I watch my beloved Hokies play on Saturdays, usually enjoying a beer or two (or three, but whatever, right? It's a long game.) I remember what a perfect season autumn really is. Rarely does a cool beer taste better. And while I'm long beyond my party days, I don't care, because I now savor the taste and enjoy the moment.

And you know what? A lot of people really are crazy. But I don't worry about them. I can't worry about them or how they affect me. I know now that worry and fretting are merely a waste of time. I find myself repeating this verse so often that it's become my sort of mantra: "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future". (Jeremiah 29:11) I can only praise God and thank Him for helping me to understand that all the worry in the world will not change anything, and that all I really need worry about is keeping my eyes heavenward, and my faith constant. I just need to soak in the beauty of nature, enjoy the good things in life, the good food, the good friends, the hobbies that bring us joy, and TRUST. Trust that the Lord is there for me, not just when I'm doing well, but when I'm stressing out. Trust that the Lord will help to guide me through all patches of my life.

So, I'll continue to enjoy the gorgeous fall atmosphere, write my football blog, enjoy an afternoon of snacks, beer and football, and be thankful that God is with me.

Clearing away the clutter

2009-09-17T15:30:00.004-04:00

Guess what I have?

AN EMPTY IN-BOX! Inspired by a blog by an old high school friend I read yesterday, I completed a task I had been doing in fits and spurts for ages now. I wish I were smart enough to know how to do a screen capture, because really, this is a thing of beauty.

Empty. Nothing. Nada. All the things I had been hanging onto, either gone, or put in their proper folder. All of them. I can now literally see the forest through the trees.

Wow. I wonder what life would be like if we all did this. Purge our in-boxes, our closets, our junk drawers, our memories, our stored hurts and grievances, and just let them go. It's unbelievable the things I've been hanging onto.

I wonder how much freer my soul would feel without all the anger, doubt and fear bunching up in there. I wonder how much better my body would feel. I wonder how many fewer headaches I would have.

I wonder why I haven't done this already.

(Stay tuned. I have a feeling this is going to turn into a project. Empty your in-box, empty your cluttered life.)

Oh, a hiking we will go....

2009-09-08T19:44:00.002-04:00

Labor Day Hike on the Skyline Drive. We brought the Matthews family along for the fun, and a good time was had by all!

Ever been to Dowisetrepla?

2009-09-01T15:51:00.004-04:00

You know, the place where Marshall and Lily on "How I Met Your Mother" bought their awesome apartment? "Down wind of the sewage treatment plant."

Well, I found out yesterday from Riley that the Vikings came from a little place called "Scandalopia". I'm pretty sure she's going to ace her first 4th grade history quiz.

But, in happier news, I've finally married off one of my daughters. The bad news? She married my husband. The original plan was to marry our new puppy, but she got cold feet at the last minute. Russell was all too glad (?) to step in.

Awww. Too cute for words. She's sure she is going to meet "her man" someday soon. How it works is, he comes up and shakes your hand, and tells you he loves you. Then, you move to his house, but you get your own closet. She's going to miss her puppy though.

She makes my heart hurt.

Two more

2009-08-18T16:04:00.003-04:00

And, here's two more from my favorite quotable redhead.

-She was playing with her dollhouse and brought me her dining room table with a piece of cloth in the middle. I asked what the cloth was. She looked at me as if I was crazy. "Its the centipede, Mom. All tables have to have a centipede".

-I was reading her a bedtime story at the beach and it was the story of David and Goliath. The redhead told me she already knew how the story was going to end, because she had learned it at school. What school, I asked? "Mountain Dew School, Mom". (My kids go to Mountain View Christian Academy).

LOL

Cute things my kids say

2009-08-07T13:46:00.003-04:00

Just a couple gems from my kiddos.

1. The other night, dear husband was helping me to pop and enormous zit that had sprouted on my forehead. Ally was watching with interest and asked how it got there. I told her I didn't know but that it was probably a product of Satan (kidding :O). She looked concerned and asked if she was going to get one too. I told her I hoped not. Then, she said, "Mom, all I have on my face are nickels." Nickels? Um, okay hon. She looked at me like I was crazy and said "Mom, you have them too", and pointed to my freckles. Hilarious.

2. When I was away a few weeks ago on my business trip, I called one night to talk to the kids. In case you didn't know, we have gotten ourselves a puppy. This is him:

From Macho

Anyway, I asked Ally (again with the cute) how he was doing and she said this: "He was loud last night Mom. He barked a storm up".

3. An oldie but a goodie! We went on a trip a while back and I forgot to pack Riley underwear. She was like, "It's okay Mom. I can just go krypto". I think she meant to say commando but now we have replaced that in our family language with krypto. So, if you see me, ask if I'm going krypto, and I'll understand what you're talking about.

Doing the happy dance!

2009-08-01T12:59:00.002-04:00

Remember this post about my obsession with mini-van hatred? Well remember no more my friend.

Yep, that's right. I have a NEW CAR!!!!!!!

It's not a van. It does not scream old, tired, worn out, mom jeans wearing grocery getter. It screams super duper cool person in a super duper cool Tahoe.

Yay me. Yay me. Yay me.

If I weren't such a lazy ass, I'd get up off my lazy ass and go take a picture of it. But, I worked out this morning (for the second time this week! Another yay me) and I'm feeling a bit peaked. So, just imagine a beautiful, big, black Tahoe parked in my garage. And smile for me.

If my cat could talk....

2009-07-17T16:13:00.001-04:00

This is what he would say to me:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

And he would probably be right. But, that's why I write for you guys!

My rental car stinks-literally

2009-07-15T16:24:00.002-04:00

My car went into the shop today for the 6 day repair from my collision. I picked up the rental this morning, a Kia mini-van (don't remember what they call them). This morning it was a bit cool, and so I didn't notice a problem, but as the day has warmed up, the interior has developed a lovely urine odor. I called the rental agency (probably shouldn't name them directly, but suffice it to say, they pick you up) and asked if I could swap. They don't have another van and won't until tomorrow, but they did offer to re-clean it. You know, clean the windows, and vacuum the interior. Because those are the two methods best known for removing a piss smell.

Why fireworks come with so many warnings

2009-07-06T17:52:00.003-04:00

Because eventually, one of your children is going to try to touch one when it is lit. Any guesses which of my kids did it?

Who guessed Jeremiah? Did everyone guess Jeremiah? Well, he did. Saturday night we were at a fellowship group cookout and the kids were all doing sparklers. Jeremiah, after first refusing to hold one because he was afraid of it, then decided not only to hold it, but to touch the sparkliness. The result? Three burnt fingers, one of which ended up with a little blister, and one pretty upset kid. He fell asleep clutching an ice pack and now says he has a "bump" on his finger. Moral of this story? Even when you tell a six year old boy not to touch it because it will burn him, he's probably eventually going to do it anyway. But, I bet he won't do it again. Happy 4th!

I don't really do pain well.

2009-06-29T20:57:00.002-04:00

About three weeks ago, I had an unfortunate incident and ended up hurting my back. I was down and out for a few days, but got some pain pills and a good massage and was starting to bounce back pretty well. Then, BAM, literally. I was in a car accident last week, interestingly enough, after leaving a massage appointment. I wasn't seriously hurt, but apparently my back was jarred or something. Since then, I have been in almost constant pain. Not stabbing through the heart pain where you can't breathe it hurts so bad (think: labor), but a constant, dull, throbbing pain. I think I'd almost rather have a few days of bad pain than 2 weeks of constant pain. My back pain has become the unwelcome companion to my days. It follows me around while I try to work. It makes it's presence known when I sit in a chair for more than about 10 minutes. It impolitely taps me on the shoulder when I stand for more than 10 minutes. It kicks me in the shins every time I wake up in the morning and roll out of bed like my 86 year old grandmother might.

Here's what constant pain does to me. It makes me terribly crabby. It also frustrates me to the point of tears. Physically, I guess I'm tough enough to take it, but mentally, I'm starting to come unglued. I don't like that I'm unable to perform my daily routine without pain. I spend my days dreaming not of warm sunny beaches and frozen drinks, but of ice packs and heating pads. I count the number of hours until I can go home, take a Vicodan, and lay down. I'm becoming a terrible wife and mother because I have no patience for anything except pain relievers. And all this makes me terribly, terribly sad. I'm sorry to anyone I am neglecting or snapping at. I wish I could change this behavior. I want to. I just don't do pain very well, I guess.

Is it worth the effort?

2009-06-26T20:09:00.002-04:00

A while back, I somehow stumbled on a blog written by an extremely talented woman named Rita Ahrens. Since then, I've been reading religiously. The other day, she posted about her daughter and a ballet recital. I'll let you read the full version for yourself, but it contained one of the best lines I've heard in a while.

Mommy," she said. "Will I ever be a big ballerina like that?"

I didn't know the answer to that question. Will she stay with it? Will her flat feet bring her down? Will she be good at it?

So I told her what I've learned in 35 years. "Baby," I said, "it depends on whether you'll think it's worth the effort."

True that. And so it goes for almost everything. Is it worth the effort? Maybe this is one of those great truths in life. When you find the thing(s) that are worth the effort, maybe you've discovered your secret of life. As Curly told us in City Slickers, the secret of life is 1 thing. And you have to decide what that one thing is.

What's yours?

So how cute is this?

2009-06-24T15:17:00.003-04:00

Just a sampling of our beach vacation folks. I've been too busy unpacking, trying to put out work fires and getting t-boned by cars to post much more. I have a ton of super cute shots though. I'll try to get it together soon.

Made me giggle.

2009-06-12T09:19:00.002-04:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

That's it. It just made me smile this morning, so I thought I'd share. I had several white cats growing up, though no fluffy ones. I named them, so creatively, Cotton and Candy.

Graduation!

2009-06-09T11:01:00.004-04:00

Due to my aching back, I have been kind of lax in getting the graduation pictures up. But, here they are! (Extra special thanks to Vicodan for helping me get out of bed today.)

Joshua, Jeremiah, Jonathan and Justin

Luke, Jeremiah, and Hanna

Jeremiah and his 1st teacher, Rebekah Haught. Rebekah, you are sorely missed!

Teacher number 2, Carol Morgan. Thank you Carol, for making the transition a success.

And here is Jeremiah and Hanna. Jeremiah spent the entire year being in love with Hanna. I personally think he made a pretty good choice.

There you have it folks. Jeremiah survived kindergarten. He learned to read, he learned to write his name in cursive, and he learned that God is with you in whatever you do. What more do you need?

We are more than conquerors

2009-06-05T15:23:00.003-04:00

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. -Romans 8:37

Congratulations MVCA kindergartners! May your walk with Christ be joyous and your life be rich and full of the spirit.

I cried today.

2009-06-03T16:09:00.002-04:00

And some of you may be thinking, so what? But, here's a fact you may not know about me: I am not a crier. I used to be. I used to cry, as they say, "at the drop of a hat". I was not shy about expressing my emotions. I would cry when I was happy, I would cry when I was sad, I would cry when I was angry, and I would cry because I couldn't find my shoes.

But somewhere along the line, the tears dried up. This happened for a lot of reasons, I guess. I stopped crying because big girls don't cry. I stopped crying because it didn't do any good anyway. I stopped crying because I didn't want to appear weak. I stopped crying because I was afraid that if I did cry, the fragile house of cards upon which I perched would collapse. But most of all, I knew that if I started crying, I wouldn't be able to stop.

I hope I wasn't right.

So, what are your hobbies?

2009-06-01T15:31:00.003-04:00

Someone asked me the other day what my hobbies were. Seemingly innocuous question, right? Funny thing was, I had a hard time coming up with any. My friend who asked, is single, and childless. Hobbies included mountain biking, hiking and travel. Now, I like all those things. I love hiking, I've actually been on two mountain biking trips, and I adore travel. But, are any of these a hobby for me? What exactly is a hobby?

I found this dictionary definition: "An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure." So, although I would enjoy hiking and biking, I don't think they really qualify as a hobby of mine. But, the reason they don't qualify is because I never get to do them. Hobbies, for me at least, seem to change when you become a parent. Now, my hobbies have to be something I can squeeze in when my kids don't need me.

At first, I got pretty down in the dumps thinking that I didn't have any hobbies. I started thinking that I must be a complete bore. Then, I started thinking that maybe my memory was failing me, because I always seem awfully busy for someone who has no hobbies. But, it comes down to this. I believe that, for me at least, your kids kind of become your hobby. Not that I have completely enmeshed myself with them, because that is kind of an unhealthy bond, but I do believe that, as a parent, you do gain enjoyment and pleasure from your children and their pursuits. I enjoy watching Jeremiah attempt to play soccer, I enjoy watching Riley master cheerleading routines, I even enjoy listening to the songs Ally makes up while she's playing. And, I enjoy a few things just for me too. I enjoy writing this blog. I enjoy writing my football blog and speculating on how VT is going to fare this year. I enjoy reading a good book. I enjoy a nice glass of wine on the porch at night. Maybe my life is more full than I originally thought.

Ahhh, nostalgia.

2009-05-28T15:33:00.003-04:00

And also proof that you can find anything on eBay. After finding that placemat the other day, I have been consumed by the thought of whether The Plantation still exists. If it does, I can't find it. But, I did find this:

It's actually a postcard of The Plantation Motel, and you can see the restaurant. This makes me so happy.

I also found this:

We used to stay here. Once, I found toenail clippings underneath the pull out sofa. But, it was the first motel I'd ever seen with a kitchenette.

And what about this one?

But, the best feature about The Viking was the pool. It had an observation window that you could see into from the street. To appreciate it in all it's glory, go here.

And I could go on and on. The Balboa, Beach Carousel, Dolphin, Sandcastle, Seahawk, Belvedere, Princess Anne. All places I either stayed or thought I would love to stay. Good, good times.

Fame and fortune, fame and fortune

2009-05-28T15:03:00.006-04:00

Well, neither one of those really, but I do have some exciting news. My football blog, The Football Girl was mentioned on Fire Bryan Stinespring! I've been toiling away at this blog for a while now, but I'm sure how many people actually read it. I quoted FBS in one of my articles and they kindly responded by adding me to their blogroll. But, this is the first time I've been linked to. Surely, fame and fortune can't be far away now. Go me.

Check out the VT pumpkin!

Does anyone remember this?

2009-05-26T13:14:00.003-04:00

I happened to think about this the other day while talking to the beloved husband about our old trips to Virginia Beach when we were kids. There was this pancake restaurant called The Plantation that had these as the placemats. My brother and I used to pore over it, trying to decide which drink we would try first (when we became drinkers, of course!). And, to celebrate this, I'll tell you which ones I loved:

Grasshopper: I just thought it looked so pretty and green.
Pink Lady: Again, because of the beautiful pink color.
Angel's Kiss: I adored this name. I thought it sounded so glamorous.
Scarlett O'Hara: Because I had watched Gone with the Wind and thought it was awesome.

And now, the truth. I've never had any of these as an adult. Dang, I've got to get busy.I think I'll make it my summer quest, to drink every drink on the cool Cocktail placemat. Anyone else?

Montage of cute.

2009-05-23T09:02:00.005-04:00

When did she get so grown up?

Yep, she could totally be a movie star.
My totally handsome boy.
Lest you think you've missed a pregnancy of mine, she's my super cutie pie niece, Lila.
A very photogenic group, no?
Ahhh, we are being sucked into the sand pit of doom!
I proudly bring you Ally, modeling the Urban Sombrero.
Ta-da!

And that, folks, is a super quick snapshot of our Dominican vacation.

Just found this kind of funny.

2009-05-22T09:17:00.002-04:00

Awkward Solo Photo: Summer Squash

Posted using ShareThis

I'm appreciated.

2009-05-19T08:50:00.002-04:00

This is SO getting framed. Oh yeah. I'm a jury hero.

A crushing blow

2009-05-14T22:16:00.002-04:00

Bad news. The monkey police have informed us that it is illegal for private citizens to possess monkeys. Only zoos are allowed to have them. (And, anyone fact checking this, I have no idea whether this is true, but it satisfied, although devastated, my kids). Now, onto reptiles. Jeremiah has decided that if we can't get a monkey, we should get a lizard. Not a big lizard, but maybe a small one. We would name it General Grievous. I think he would look something like this:

Anything can happen at this place folks. Stay tuned.

Dominican craziness!

2009-05-13T19:02:00.002-04:00

Have you ever seen such a thing? These kids have monkeys on their heads!

The bad news about this is that now Ally has decided that we need a pet baby monkey. She is insistent about it, and even says she will clean up the monkey poop, which we assure her would be everywhere. In an effort to thwart her enthusiasm, Rusty told her we have to talk to the "monkey police" to find out if we are allowed to have a monkey. I'm afraid that her luck is going to run out at this point, because there is no chance the monkey cops are going to allow this. She thought we should get three monkeys, one for each kid, and keep them in cages in their rooms. She is going to name her monkey "Monkey Do, Monkey Say". I told her I would name my fictional monkey Henry and he would live on the trampoline. This seems like a good plan to me.

My NASCAR observations

2009-05-04T08:31:00.003-04:00

So, I had an interesting experience on Friday. I got to attend the Nascar (do I capitalize that? I still don't know.) race in Richmond. ServiceMaster has a "Clean Machine" that they set up at races, complete with Hospitality tent, snacks, beverages, and an authentic looking race car. This was my second race experience, I attended one many years ago in Martinsville, but my only recollection of it was that it was loud and the line for the bathroom were ridiculous. So, I paid close attention and came up with the following observations:

There are a heck of a lot of people that come to these events. There were campers as far as the eye could see, packed side by side with little room in between. Now that's dedication.

NASCAR fans are far more varied than I thought. Young, old, male, female, every race, size, and group seemed to be represented.

Having said that, I must now address the following-for men, the attire seemed to be mostly a driver shirt and denim shorts. Many men decided mid day that the shirt was an optional accessory and that bare chest was the way to go.

For women, the attire was this- dress as slutty as possible with no regard to height, weight, or age. I saw things that nature did not intend for public consumption. Yikes.

The pit area stinks. Literally. It smelled like asphalt and burnt tires. All my environmentally concerned mind could think was how much pollution and waste they were producing.

Fans are passionate about "their guys". I don't know exactly how you choose "your guy", whether it be by name, looks, cool car, or what, but once you pick him, you follow him to the ends of the earth, determined to crush all opposition.

The cross promotion is unbelievable. There are so many logos on those cars it would be impossible to name your car. While each seems to have one main sponsor, each car is peppered with tons of other stickers for other sponsors too. Which would lead to things like calling your car the ServiceMaster Dr. Pepper Old Navy Duracell Wachovia Walmart DriEaz Papermill Microsoft JCPenney Kleenex Lysol Chevrolet. And that would be a mouthful.

I was given 12 free cans of snuff, and I don't even chew. That's a lot of snuff.

So there you have it. I've been there, done it now, and will probably never go back. And that suits me just fine. I don't begrudge anyone their sports, but I know for sure that this isn't mine.

What the....

2009-04-30T12:37:00.003-04:00

I just spent $42.00 on sunscreen at Target in preparation for our Dominican Republic trip next week. That amount got me eight bottles of SPF 30 Spray on sunscreen, Target brand, of course. That's over 5.00 a bottle. Jiminy Christmas. FrugalGirl, if you're reading, how do I save some money on sunscreen? I'm not even sure that's going to be enough to last for a week for my three kids. Wonder if there's sunscreen in pill form in the works somewhere? All the kids have to have sunscreen for daycare every day this summer. I'm going to be a broke mama at this price.

My jury winnings!

2009-04-28T19:38:00.002-04:00

So, I got my jury check in the mail yesterday. I was actually pleasantly surprised to find it totaled $337.50. Apparently they calculate the mileage to and from your house and add it to the $40/day they pay you to serve. I'm rich! I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams!

So what do I plan to do with this unforeseen windfall? First on the agenda is a good massage, to counteract the agony inflicted on my aging back by those uncomfortable jury box chairs. Then, who knows? Shopping? Saving? Bills? Hmmmm.....

And even bigger news: I'm going to a Nascar race. (Do you capitalize all the letters in Nascar? Does it stand for something? Wikipedia, answer me.) I'm going Friday to the Richmond race to check out the ServiceMaster Hospitality tent/Clean Machine. Good times, good times. Now, I'll admit, I have little to no interest in racing, and thankfully have absorbed little knowledge of the sport. I just hope there's good food.

My Civic Duty

2009-04-23T19:13:00.003-04:00

Remember my earlier excited posts about getting out of jury duty? Well, they have come back to bite me on the ass in every sense. I should never have been so cocky.

Last week, I got a letter from the Federal court in Harrisonburg saying I had yet again been summoned for a trial. So, on Monday, I headed to court, fully expecting to be able to be dismissed on the grounds of being married to Deputy Dog. Imagine my surprise when I was chosen from the jury pool to serve on the jury for this case. And I just gave away what our verdict was.

So, my thoughts on serving on a jury? Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad. In fact, it was kind of interesting, although my back is paying for it now. The worst part is having to sit for so long. I'm not a sitter. In fact, I'm pretty much adult ADD, and sitting still for long periods of time is equivalent to Chinese water torture to me. I plan to take my jury winnings (I believe I made the princely sum of $30/day) and get a massage.

The funny part about the whole thing? Most everyone I've talked to seemed surprised that we reached a not guilty verdict. I guess most people really do give more weight to the testimony of government officials and law enforcement over defendants.

I remember.

2009-04-16T14:47:00.003-04:00

Today, I remember. I remember all those who lost loved ones to this horror. I remember those doctors, police officers, and EMT's who must continue to relive the sight of so much devastation. I remember all those who cried tears and pray that God will continue to comfort them. And yet, I rejoice. I rejoice in the spirit of Virginia Tech. I rejoice that I count myself among those blessed to be in the Hokie Nation. I rejoice in a country that embraced this tragedy and made sure those who died did not do so in vain. I will never forget, but I know that we will heal. We are, after all, Virginia Tech. In the words of Professor Nikki Giovanni:

We are Virginia Tech.
We are sad today, and we will be sad for quite a while.
We are not moving on, we are embracing our mourning.
We are Virginia
Tech.
We are strong enough to stand tall tearlessly, we are brave enough to
bend to cry, and we are sad enough to know that we must laugh again.
We are
Virginia Tech.
We do not understand this tragedy. We know we did nothing to
deserve it, but neither does a child in Africa dying of AIDS, neither do the
invisible children walking the night away to avoid being captured by the rogue
army, neither does the baby elephant watching his community being devastated for
ivory, neither does the Mexican child looking for fresh water, neither does the
Appalachian infant killed in the middle of the night in his crib in the home his
father built with his own hands being run over by a boulder because the land was
destabilized. No one deserves a tragedy.
We are Virginia Tech.
The Hokie
Nation embraces our own and reaches out with open heart and hands to those who
offer their hearts and minds. We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and
unafraid. We are better than we think and not quite what we want to be. We are
alive to the imaginations and the possibilities. We will continue to invent the
future through our blood and tears and through all our sadness.
We are the
Hokies.
We will prevail.
We will prevail.
We will prevail.
We are
Virginia Tech.

Well alrighty then.

2009-04-07T15:29:00.004-04:00

As you may know, Jeremiah can have some trouble behaving himself at school. Lucky for us though, he has ascertained the reason why. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Jeremiah, what color were you on today?"

Jeremiah: "Green."

Me: "What happened to get you moved from blue to green?"

Jeremiah: "Well, mom, I've figured it out. It's my yapper. Yapper, yapper, yapper. I just can't keep my yapper shut."

Me: (Almost spitting out the sip of wine I had just taken.) "Oh".

There you have it.

Adventures in headache-ville.

2009-04-07T08:37:00.000-04:00

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance, you haven't (a very obscure "Major League" reference), my blog postings have been few and far between lately. The reason? Headaches. I have been a headache sufferer all my life, and it has increased in my adult life both in frequency and in pain level. In my early 20's I began having migraine headaches. I went through several years where they were fairly frequent, then during my childbearing years, they decreased. Apparently something in those pregnancy hormones kept me protected! But, about two years ago, they returned with a vengeance. I coped in my own typical fashion, denial. I used Maxalt provided by my mother when needed, and suffered when I didn't have it. I began having to spend hours, sometimes all day in bed with the lights off and the fan on for noise muffling. This would have been all fine and good if I didn't have three children, a husband, and a job to do. But, I have all those things, and they were suffering as well. My kids began to learn how to tiptoe around me, and even Ally would try to come in and try to comfort me, usually with a stuffed animal for me to sleep with, and a kiss. It was heartbreaking. So finally, about three weeks ago, I went to the doctor and came clean. I needed help. So now, I'm taking a migraine preventative, and I won't lie to you folks, it's been rough. My first day I popped it on the way to work and ended up more nauseous than I had been since my morning sickness days. I very quickly learned that I needed to take it WITH food. But since then, a most disturbing side effect has set in. It is lethargy. My energy levels have decreased to disturbing levels, and the only thing I really want to do most days is lay on my bed and sleep. Or not sleep, just lay there. It's been a struggle to summon up the energy to do much of anything, and that includes my blog. It has been all I can do just to do the basics. I've talked to other people who have taken this medication and they assure me that this too shall pass. I just hope I can hang on until it does.

Hee, hee. My son as Jesus

2009-04-02T09:42:00.003-04:00

Jeremiah's kindergarten class was responsible for chapel yesterday and they did a skit about the poor widow woman who gave all she had to the church treasury. Jeremiah has one glorious line. Wait for it, it's at the end of the video. ( Watch it please, it's only two minutes long!) He gets a little stage fright at the end. Too cute.

He makes a very regal Jesus in his green bathrobe, don't you think?

Um, medium?

2009-03-30T13:58:00.002-04:00

I'm kind of a medium type person. Buying a shirt? Size medium please. Buying sweatpants? Medium. What size french fries do I want? I'll take medium. Height? Neither tall nor short, so, I guess, medium. Weight? Average, medium. Athletic ability? Medium. Intelligence? Well, medium, if I'm being honest. Now that I've cut my hair, I can even say that my hair is, wait for it, medium length.

So, I was at Target the other day because the black belt I usually wear finally gave out and I needed a new one. (I got my old belt at Target too, and it didn't last very long. Side note to self: perhaps best not to buy belts at Target, but I digress). Belts, in case you didn't know, for women at least, come in sizes S, M, L, or XL. So, thinking of myself the way I usually do, I grabbed a medium and headed for the checkout. Not without buying a few things I really didn't need first, however. I get back to my office and go to put on the belt. Well, guess what? I don't wear a size medium belt. I WISH I wore a size medium belt, but, turns out, I couldn't even buckle the size medium belt. So, I guess I need to ask for the small fries in the future.

Sit down, jump up, get tall.

2009-03-16T18:52:00.006-04:00

Easy as 1,2,3. If you just follow those three easy directions, you too can do a back handspring, just like Riley.

Check her out!

She has been working very hard and has finally mastered this essential cheerleading skill. She leaps, she soars, she flips! Congratulations, Riley!

A filmmaker is born

2009-03-13T09:28:00.002-04:00

And if you don't believe me, check this out. That's my daughter showing off her cinematic skills. I particularly like the part where she engages the girls in a dialogue about what they like about each other.

Pop song wisdom

2009-03-12T14:16:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, I'll hear a nugget of wisdom in the strangest places, and it will stick with me practically forever. Recently, it was this. Remember back some years ago, when that "Wear Sunscreen" speech/essay, whatever it was came out? It was attributed to lots of people, including I think Kurt Vonnegut at one point, but anyway, that has nothing to do with my story. So, they made a pop song out of it, and I happened to hear it one day on the radio. There's a part that goes like this: "Don't worry about the future. Or, worry, but know that worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real worries in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday." And you know what? Pop song or no, that's totally true. I could worry my head off about any and all number of things, but never even consider for one minute some of the actual things that happen to me. So, I don't worry too much about the future. I know that my real life is going to be screwy enough for me without all that added stress.

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrman

RESPECT find out what it means to me

2009-03-05T10:59:00.004-05:00

Looks like a pretty sweet kid, right? Well, we're having some issues lately with him and the way he is talking to people, mostly to Rusty and I. (Now, Mimi, don't get all up in arms, it's not life or death or anything, but I'm a bit troubled nonetheless). Jeremiah has discovered that nastiest of traits, disdain bordering on insolence. When asked to do something he doesn't particularly want to do, he becomes instantly surly and nasty. Everything is "dumb" or "stupid" including his sisters, teachers, friends, etc. He's been spending some time in his room for it, but I don't know how well it's been working. Any suggestions, dear readers? When faced with consequences, he becomes instantly contrite and even sometimes pathetic, saying stuff like, "you don't love me at all", or this gem from yesterday, "you just like sending me to my room for hundreds of hours!". (And for the record, it's like 5 or 10 minutes of room time). It hasn't been fun for anyone involved, but I don't know how to rid him of this habit. I figured this one would wait until adolescence.

Why spontaneity is not always a good idea:

2009-03-04T15:19:00.002-05:00

You end up with really short hair.

(That's me doing my best shocked and surprised face.)
Well, you live and you learn, right? Right?

My patriotic duty....

2009-03-02T18:17:00.002-05:00

IS CANCELLED!

Hip hip hooray! No 4 week jury trial for me. Picture me doing this dance!

And this one!

And, finally, this one, cause I'm just that happy.

When you lose the title, we're to blame

2009-03-02T13:40:00.002-05:00

Yay Riley!

Congratulations to Riley and all the girls on TNT Ignite for their 1st place finish on Saturday at the Mountain Top Regional cheer competition. It was another long day of sitting on very uncomfortable bleachers packed shoulder to shoulder with virtual strangers, but the 2:30 (that's two minutes and thirty seconds worth of cheer for six hours worth of bleachers) that Riley performed was gold! And, she got to have her favorite audience, Pots, Mimi, Dad, Jeremiah, Ally, Deb, and Katey. A fun time was had by all, and I'm sure my back will recover in time for the next competition.

Yay! Jury duty.

2009-02-27T09:03:00.003-05:00

Yay, you say? Well yes, I do say yay. And you'll find out why in a minute. About a year ago, I got a jury summons in the mail for United States District Court in Harrisonburg. I filled out the paperwork, as is my citizenly duty, and sent it back in. Of course, I was then chosen for six months of service, December 2008 to June 2009. I had to fill out a more detailed questionnaire, and my husband assured me that I would never actually be picked because I am married to a police officer. Well, he was wrong. I have been chosen. For a trial that is expected to last 4 weeks. Yay. I was all set to grumble and grouse about this turn of events, except that God had so thoughtfully laid it on my heart to choose giving up complaining and criticizing for Lent. I am again reminded that God loves to give us opportunities to practice what we desire to do. So, thanks America. Jury service is not only the patriotic, but the legal duty of every American. I am sure to find my experience rewarding and fascinating.

Just funny.

2009-02-24T15:33:00.001-05:00

more animals

Sigh. Budget cuts.

2009-02-24T15:16:00.003-05:00

Kind of out of nowhere last week, we received an e-mail notification that my children's school had laid off seven teachers. I know that schools everywhere are cutting back, and that our school (private, Christian) was experiencing some budgetary issues due to enrollment being down. There were layoffs of aides right at the beginning of the year, but no indications that others were to follow. Unfortunately, one of the casualties was Jeremiah's kindergarten teacher. If you're the praying type, take the time to say a little prayer for Rebekah Haught, who finds herself without the job she's held for the last 12 years. Sad. As of yesterday, Jeremiah is now in a combined Kindergarten/1st grade class (the 1st grade teacher, Sarah Leonard, was also let go. Another prayer please!) which is being taught by a lovely lady, Carol Morgan. Mrs. Morgan had been the special education teacher up until the layoffs. Jeremiah has been having a tough time with it, not because he doesn't like Mrs. Morgan (he does) but because he really loved Rebekah. I have to brag a bit and say that she told me he was her favorite (of course she may have said that to all the parents :), but I do know that she thought he was pretty special). This also puts us kind of in limbo for next year. The hope of the school is to: A. Increase enrollment for next year, and B. Be able to afford a separate K and 1st grade teacher. But, it's not a done deal, of course. So, again, if you're the praying type, say a prayer for all of us affected by this. I've got some big decisions to make, and they aren't going to come easily.

Solo Performances

2009-02-19T19:02:00.006-05:00

And this one:

Talent, talent, talent.

For the love of bacon

2009-02-17T21:41:00.005-05:00

So, I have officially become the parent who bribes her child to eat by promising gifts. Jeremiah received a toy from my parents for Valentine's Day that he already had. I told him we could go this weekend to exchange it, and he was none too happy to hear that. He wanted to go RIGHT NOW. We're at dinner Monday night, and we were having pancakes and bacon. Jeremiah was complaining about wanting the toy RIGHT NOW, and I did it. I made the proverbial deal with the devil, crossed the parental line of no return. I told him that if he would eat half (yeah, half) a slice of bacon, I'd take him the next afternoon to get a toy. And he did it.

So what, you say. It's just bacon. And half a slice at that. But, for those of you who know and love my little Smooch, this was the equivalent of scaling Mt. Everest in a pair of $2.00 Old Navy flip flops. And he said he liked it! Now, I suffer no hallucinations that he'll actually eat another piece any time in the foreseeable future, but for one shining, glorious moment, I saw a future beyond Pop Tarts, hot cereal, and McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. And it was good.

I'm set for life

2009-02-15T19:38:00.004-05:00

So, it appears that my kids quite obviously have a brilliant career in the entertainment industry awaiting them. I will probably never need to work again, once I send this to the folks at Disney. I could be sitting on the next Hannah Montana and Troy Bolton.

Eruption (pause) All Stars, Can't beat us at our game....

2009-02-12T08:37:00.002-05:00

Well, I've tried to illegally (gasp!) show the photos for Riley's cheer competition on Saturday, but apparently Classic Photography and Imaging is onto my tricks, so I'll just direct you to their site, where you can gaze for yourself!

1. Go to the bottom of the main page and choose order pictures
2. The event is "North County Regional Channel"
3. Her group is "mini ch lev2 136"
4. There are 109 pictures, but Riley is prominently featured in 56,57,58, 69-83, 97 and 98. Bonus points if you can find her in the final group shots!

Good Luck!

Sound advice.

2009-02-11T08:29:00.001-05:00

more animals

Yeah, I'm sure it is. I'd love to try it sometime.

Smorgashboard!

2009-02-05T18:12:00.005-05:00

A few random tidbits today, just because.

This is what Riley looks like in her new glasses, in case I haven't posted it yet.

Here's what Jeremiah would spend all his waking hours doing when he can't go outside.

And this is what Ally was doing to amuse herself this afternoon.

What's up in your neck of the woods?

Possible sign of the apocalypse

2009-02-04T20:09:00.003-05:00

Today, I had to buy a few groceries to take to church for dinner tonight. Because I was closest to Walmart, I decided to go there. Imagine my surprise when I found an empty space, not only directly across from the entrance, but in the very front row. Yeah, a space that would usually have a handicap sign. The front space, people. Never, in all my years of shopping, have I been able to score a front space at Walmart. Maybe we really are in a recession.

In other news, all three children had their semi-annual dentist visit yesterday. Now, this is an event usually dreaded like the Black Plague, but because I couldn't go and Rusty took them, the children were all Stepford kids and behaved perfectly. Even Jeremiah, who usually views a visit to the dentist the same way he views having his toenails clipped. (Those of you who have witnessed this can attest to the horror and screaming). Everyone received a positive report and Ally was even complimented on how nice her teeth looked, which I find amazing, and confirms my theory that some people are just born with good teeth. She barely tolerates brushing, and often has to be chased around and pinned into a corner for it to happen at all. I will confess in front of all you people that sometimes I just don't bother. Yeah, I said it. But, her teeth are great, so I guess a little brushing is just as good as a lot.

A mystery wrapped in an enigma?

2009-02-03T08:21:00.003-05:00

So I had a kind of strange thing happen to me over the weekend, and it kind of made me question some things, so I thought I'd share. There is currently a phenomenon going around Facebook called "25 Random Things", or some such equivalent. You write a note with 25 things about yourself, then tag 25 other people to do the same. I had been tagged a number of times and finally decided to give it a go. Here's the list in case you haven't read it.

Anyways, after I posted my list, one of my very very good friends (Deb, I'm talking about you :)), called me and was very surprised by much of what was on the list. She also had no idea that I was a blogger, and asked to read my blog. She later said that after reading my list and blog, she felt like she didn't really know me. That got me thinking: Do people really know me at all? (And BTW, I just totally got a flash of Carrie typing away on her pink laptop in Sex and the City). I came up with this conclusion. I'm really not much of a sharer. I am a listener. I don't really know why I'm that way, not that there's anything wrong with it. But, I was kind of saddened that people really don't know who I am. Maybe that's my fault. Maybe I need to share more. I am currently embarking on an honesty campaign with my husband (hee hee) and perhaps I need to expand this campaign to other areas of my life. Because if the people who love me only love me for the surface me, perhaps that's not really love at all. I often don't say what I feel, or don't give opinions because it's just easier to stay quiet and not stir things up. I truly don't like to argue, and while my opinions of things may differ sometimes, it's usually just simpler for me not to elaborate, but just to listen. I did a lot of this during the recent election, even with my husband. Despite the fact that I am a Christian, my political leanings are much more liberal. Many people that I know and love are very conservative. Instead of trying to engage them in debate every few minutes, I chose just to listen. I respect every one's right to an opinion. I think I need to trust more that people will respect mine. (And, after all, Jesus was considered quite the radical in his time!)

Just thought this was kind of funny

2009-01-30T08:36:00.003-05:00

But perhaps not as funny as this:

What's even funnier (or sadder, depending on your sense of humor) is that I actually saw Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer in concert, TOGETHER. Yeah.

Word to your mother.

Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow (just like Bing would sing it)

2009-01-29T16:08:00.002-05:00

From Snow!

I'll soon be there with snow
I'll wash my hair with snow
And with a spade of snow
I'll build a man that's made of snow
I'd love to stay up with you but I recommend a little shuteye
Go to sleep
And dream
Of snow

Okay, so it wasn't exactly Pine Tree Lodge in Vermont style snow (although, come to think of it, there wasn't a lot of snow there either until the "Big Finale" number) but my kids thought it was the greatest.

From Snow!

Awwww

2009-01-21T15:50:00.000-05:00

Terrible picture, but this is Jeremiah and his first crush, Hanna. Notice that SHE is hugging him. They are in the same kindergarten class and he learned how to spell her name before anyone else in the class. That's love.

Dark night of the soul

2009-01-21T12:20:00.002-05:00

Something happened to me recently that really brought me down. It's personal, way more than blog personal, so I'm not going to talk about it here. What I am going to talk about it this: honesty in my writing. I felt so down about what's been going on that I didn't want to write. Wait, check that. I desperately wanted to write, but I knew my writing wasn't going to be upbeat and perky and I decided that would only bum people out, so I kept silent. And then this happened; a realization.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin

And I realized that keeping silent about my feelings and stifling them was really only hurting me, because I really could have used the outlet, even if I didn't bore everyone to tears, (or move them to tears) with my personal junk. Being a writer isn't, for me, all about only writing the good and happy stuff, but also the, pardon my Meredith Gray reference, dark and twisty stuff. Sometimes, I'm dark and twisty. And I think that's okay. I'm not always going to be happy, I'm not always going to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect anything. Sometimes, things are going to happen that knock me for a loop. And when they happen, I'm going to write about them. I'm going to write because sometimes it's the only way to get this stuff out of my gut and into the light. I hope no one will be offended by that. I hope that you will understand that sometimes my life isn't picture perfect, and realize that it's okay.

We have a reader! With his first missing tooth.

2009-01-17T08:13:00.002-05:00

From Jeremiah reads

Click the picture to check out Jeremiah's first ever reading homework. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as prodigy, right?

He also lost his first tooth this morning. Apparently he noticed it was loose yesterday, but didn't want to tell Rusty because he thought his dad might pull it out. Picture to follow.

Just wondering

2009-01-14T09:11:00.002-05:00

Ever had a pair of sunglasses where one lens just keeps fogging up for no apparent reason? I have a pair right now. Every time I put them on, the right lens fogs up. So, I take them off, wipe them, put them back on, and they fog up again. And again. And again. And again. Totally don't get it.

Why do we give dads a pass?

2009-01-13T14:22:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I'm in the mall today, because I needed to get my new ring sized. While there, I strolled down to the shoe store (where I bought 8 dollar boots, yes, that is not a misprint), and happened to glance up at one of the TV monitors they have playing helpful tips and hints as you stroll the corridor of the mall. This "tip" happened to be about how Mom can help Dad out if she has to go out of town on a business trip. Some examples, pack the kids lunches ahead of time so Dad won't forget to do it, lay out however many days of outfits your kids will need, so Dad won't have to worry about what matches what, and lastly, don't forget to give Dad a great big "thank you" kiss when you arrive home for doing such a good job while you were gone.

Seriously? Really? I am so tired of things like this. It is, unfortunately for you readers, a giant peeve of mine of which I am about to rant. When exactly did we give men license to be this incompetent? When did we women, (men, society, whoever) decide that men were so stupid that they couldn't be troubled to dress and feed their own children without massive intervention from Mom? Most of us went into marriage and parenthood thinking that it was an equal partnership, but I know of few couples (okay, let me be clear here, I know of no couples) where this is actually the case. And one of the reasons? We just assume out of the gate that Dads can't do what Moms do, so we give them a pass. I'm guilty of it. I used to lay out clothes for my husband to dress my kiddos in, and my mom thinks I still should, because yowza, you should see some of the outfits he's come up with. And I'm sure other moms do the same. We're the same mom who never even mentions that cupcakes that need to be brought into class, the homework that needs to be checked, the doctor appointments that need to be made, because we've basically taken Dad out of the equation for things like that. In any given day, I make about a million kid related decisions that my husband never hears about, never knows about, never cares about. He blissfully goes on unaware, because that's just the way it is. Now, note that I'm not blaming him for it (well, not 100% anyway). The fault also lies with me, and everyone who decided that this was perfectly acceptable behavior. But is it? Maybe for some people it is. Maybe some people are content with the way things are, and I suppose that if it works for them, I should just shut up. But, it doesn't work for me. I'm not about to treat my husband like a semi-competent babysitter. He's an equal part of these children, and I think should be in every way. That's why I stopped laying out clothes and packing lunches. And that's why I'm ranting right now. A friend and I were having lunch with two dads the other day and brought up this subject. One of the dads said that men just have so much to think about during the day that the kids and family slip to the back. To which I say, why? And, is that really an excuse? My life and job are just as hectic and time consuming as my husband's, yet, my children and family are always "up front" in my mind. As it should be. As it should be for everyone.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. (But I'm not!)

A Name Change

2009-01-12T10:29:00.002-05:00

It has come to my attention that Ally would no longer like to be referred to by her given name, but instead would like to be called "Baby Peach". Please make a note of it.

In other news, Jeremiah managed to spill an entire glass of wine onto our home laptop. He's really a sloppy drunk. Really needs to work on that. Actually, it was (no surprise) my wine, which he knocked over when he thrust his chocolate milk cup at me instead of just asking me for a refill. Despite the fact that it smells kind of like Tim Riggins during early morning football practice for the Panthers in August, it appears to still be in working order.

And finally, I have a budding author on my hands. Riley had an assignment over the weekend to write a Psalm. Here's what she came up with:

"I love you Lord. I will praise you all my life. You are my trainer and you teach me well. I am smart and wise now because of you Lord. You make me feel like a student getting an A+. I work very hard to succeed in your classes. I truly do love you Lord, you take good care of me. I love you Lord."

I asked her how she came up with it, and she said, "it all came from my head".

G-LA-DIATO-RS oh yes, cause we are the best.

2009-01-10T16:16:00.003-05:00

Oh wow. Thanks to Facebook, I now officially have confirmation that I looked pretty ridiculous in high school. At least I wasn't alone in that. I had, however, forgotten that the official high school cheer uniform came complete with nylon knee socks. Hope that wasn't a banana clip holding my hair back.

What really matters?

2009-01-06T14:28:00.002-05:00

Therein lies the question, my friends. Since it is a new year, one cannot help but think about life and possibly make some resolutions. Now, keep in mind that I am not a resolution kind of gal. I think that most are just too vague, like "save money", or too difficult to attain, "lose weight", or downright impossible, "be a better person". Mind you, I'd like to do all of these things, but I know I'm not that strong a chick. First, I love to shop at Target way too much for save money to be a realistic goal, even though I have done a good job this year of curbing my spending. Second, I do like to eat and I don't much like to exercise, so lose weight will also be a challenge. Third, I try every day to be a better person. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I fail miserably. But, I do think that good often comes from self-reflection, and there are some areas where a little bit of effort may net me a lot of results. My kids like to listen to a kid's Christian band called Go Fish, and they sing a song called "Snazzy". One of the lines goes like this, "So if you've got a dream, give it all you've got. Be who you are and just let go of what you're not. If we even get tomorrow it'll be over quick, you only get one chance so you better make it stick". Kinda deep for kids music. But true. So this year, I do resolve to be who I am, and do what I love. And, not do what I don't love. So, in the spirit of resolutioning, here goes:

I am going to write more this year. It is truly my passion, and one of the things that just brings me joy. I'm not going to say I don't have time. I just choose to do other things with my time.
I am, sadly, because this is going to be really tough for me, going to give up ridiculous reality shows. Perhaps the reason I haven't been writing is that I have been wasting my time watching Rock of Love Bus on VH1. I may have to wean myself off slowly, but it is going to happen. Now, mind you, I'm still going to watch the biggies, like American Idol and Survivor, and I'm really interested in Sober House on VH1, because I am fascinated by the struggles with addiction, but I can't keep falling prey to garbage that sucks my time and my mental energy.
I am going to aim to exercise twice a week, maybe even three times. I belong to Curves, and was doing very well about going. When winter hit, however, and my life got a little busier, it went by the wayside. And I was quick to use my favorite excuse, that I didn't have time. But I have decided this: if Barack Obama has time to work out for an hour every day then darn it, so do I. Am I really so busy that I can't take 30 minutes to exercise? He was running for president and trying how to pull the country out of recession, and I'm too busy?
I am going to embrace the fact that I'm never going to be one of those crafty, bakey, take my kids to the park every day mom. Not that there's anything wrong with that. There's not. In fact, this has been a struggle for me because I want to be that mom, but for reasons both within my control (I hate crafts and everything involved with them) and beyond my control (I'm trying to run a business, here) it's just not going to happen. And that's okay. I'm still a total rock star mom in my own way.

Whew, I'm exhausted. But, I'm also exhilarated. Wish me luck.

The tree is gone!

2009-01-04T18:18:00.004-05:00

Yay! It only took one day, and the tree is actually in the basement. Thank you honey! My house is now back to pre-Christmas un-festive, but I'm okay with it. And, to top it off, I have the cutest little ballerina living in my house. The skirt she's wearing used to "funky" her, but surprise, surprise, today, it doesn't. And she looks just adorable.

It's the most horrible time of the year.

2009-01-03T11:27:00.002-05:00

Boo hiss. I hate undecorating. Today, in my house is "Undecorating Day", the day the house goes from Christmas festive to winter blah. I'm taking it verrrry slowly, because I hate it so much. As each piece goes down and gets packed away, I get a little bit sadder. The January-February-March stretch of winter always seems to be a terrible drag. Everyone is sick, the weather is nothing but gray, random ice storms freak everyone out and close schools for days, and my mood plummets. Maybe I have a touch of that SAD. (And yes, it's a real condition, Seasonal Affective Disorder!). Plus, and almost worst of all, football season is over. (Insert super sad face here.) Thursday's Orange Bowl victory, while exciting and slightly season redeeming, sounded the end of college football for a very long time. Soon, I'll be reduced to watching Hokie Football Tribute videos on You Tube just to get a fix. Side note: Who makes those things? Who actually has that kinda time? But, I guess I should thank them. It helps get me through.

Okay, I guess I have to get back at it. I just can't stand to go into the living room and look at the bare tree. Plus, I know it will be days before my sweet husband takes it to the basement. Grrr.

Happy Christmas to all!

2008-12-28T11:49:00.003-05:00

What a whirlwind the holidays are! Beginning last weekend, when my husband and kids made the trek to Pulaski for the start of the Christmas present opening, it has been crazy, non-stop Christmas excitement around here. We had wonderful Christmas Eve with Pots, Mimi, and Uncle Jeb, who brought his dog to pee on my floor. Riley and Jeremiah sang at the Christmas Eve service, and Ally, despite not being in the choir, sang loudly from her seat. At the end, we got to light candles and sing Silent Night. The perfect ending, or beginning, I guess to the next day. CHRISTMAS! Jeremiah woke up at 6:00 and was ready to start opening, but we convinced him to go back to sleep, and he did, until Pots and Mimi arrived from their hotel around 8:00. Then, it was Fun City, presents, presents, presents, and Christmas brunch. The next day, we went to Pots and Mimi's house for the big Christmas celebration, tons of presents, loads of cousin playing, and lots of good junk food and snacking, plus, a Heineken mini-keg from Jeb's new Beertender. We're back home now, recovering from all the Christmas cheer, and trying to play with each present, which has meant lots of opening boxes and assembling for Rusty and me. As I type, he is trying to construct Jeremiah's Lego Pirate Ship, which consists of approximately 750,000 pieces and (no joke) 47 pages of directions. Jeremiah gave up after about page 1/2. All in all, a wonderful time was had, and my kids are totally ready to do it all again.

A reprieve!

2008-12-22T14:30:00.003-05:00

Yay! Just when I think that things are at their lowest (witness my last post) God hands me a gift. After typing that last post out and feeling so stressed and worried, I headed home to get ready to go out of town to visit Rusty's family. I had been up much of the night coughing and had a lingering cough that sounded a bit like I had become a hardened smoker in the last 24 hours. When I got home, Rusty commented that I sounded and looked bad (thanks Baby!) and had me go to Urgent Care. I was diagnosed with nothing, but returned home feeling crappy. Then, a miracle occurred. My husband offered to take the kids without me and let me stay home and recover since it's no fun to travel when you're sick. Hallelujah! (Picture bells ringing, birds singing, fireworks exploding, you get the idea). So I got to spend the weekend in my very quiet house, finished my shopping, and wrapped every last Christmas present and had them under the tree when the kids got home. Even in the darkest night, there always shines a small bright light. And it's true.

I'm Christmas-ed out.

2008-12-19T08:21:00.002-05:00

There. I said it. I'm officially Christmas-ed out. Again. Despite all I've been doing, the lists, the planners, the day off from work, I'm still completely and totally frazzled and overwhelmed. And I'm so, so very sad about it. I didn't want this to happen. I was determined to love this season, and embrace the good in it, not getting bogged down in all the details. But, I just can't help it. There's SO MUCH to do, and I just can't seem to get away from it. And I feel like I'm doing it all alone. I've forgotten some things that I should have remembered, I still haven't wrapped my presents, and I'll be gone all stinking weekend, so when am I going to do it? I spent Tuesday baking my behind off, and produced the ugliest peanut butter balls and chocolate covered marshmallows anyone has ever seen. I feel so sad right now. I so miss the joy of Christmas. I miss being a child and that familiar, happy feeling that made the season so meaningful. Now, that feeling gone. And I realize that I was only happy because I didn't realize how much my mom put into making me feel happy and familiar, and how she was probably feeling the same way I'm feeling right now.

I've been listening to the carol "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" a lot lately. It takes me back to a better time and place. I'm clinging to that memory, wishing that I could go back there myself. I wish I could appreciate the tree in the grand hotel and the five and ten glistening with candy canes. I wish everything didn't always have to be so freaking hard. And I have to stop writing now before I start to cry and short out my keyboard.

The Grass will wither and the flowers fade.....

2008-12-15T10:04:00.001-05:00

From Riley's solo

but I have a wonderful daughter, with a sweet, beautiful voice! (Click on the picture and the video will play.)

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

2008-12-12T14:58:00.002-05:00

I never liked that song, but I LOVE my tree! Check it out!

I do love Christmas music though. Every year I start listening earlier and earlier. Soon, I'll be driving around in July, the A/C blasting, my speakers pumping out "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"!

Up, down, up, down.

2008-12-12T08:47:00.002-05:00

That was my day yesterday. Kind of like a fat kid and a skinny kid on a see-saw, and I kept switching being the kids. My day started out as me being the chubby kid. Thunk. I went out to start my car, and it wouldn't start. (Now, I'll make a confession here, just cause we're friends and all. I had known for a day or two that I was having kind of a battery issue, because each time I would start my car, the lights would brighten, then dim, then brighten again. But, I've been extraordinarily busy lately, and filed it away under the category "Things to Worry About When I Have an Extra Second". That category rarely gets touched.) So, I got my husband out of bed and we jump started the car. I left with the explicit promise of driving straight to the battery store to get it checked. But, I couldn't do that because I had a coffee date with my two new best friends, Debbie and Angie. They are actually two of my oldest friends and we have recently reconnected on that joyfully voyeuristic application known as "People You May Know" on Facebook. Whee! Now I'm the skinny see-saw kid, flying in the air. The morning was FABULOUS, and I had such a great time hanging out with these two beautiful, fun ladies. But, on the horizon lurked a problem. The headache which I had woken up with and accounted to lack of sleep and caffeine, began to threaten to cross over into migraine territory. Thunk. It did, right in the middle of having my nails done, before I could get to the battery store. So, I had to drive to Battery Mart with a sick, sick, sick (and I mean that in the negative, not the positive) headache, to get my new battery. (Side note here: Battery Mart totally rocks. I was in and out of there in 15 minutes with a new battery.) I got home and (Praise Jesus) had one more Maxalt tablet (another side note, thank you Mom, I promise I'll get myself to the doctor and get my own, really, I will). So, I laid down and closed my eyes for two hours and wished the world would stop spinning, but when I opened my eyes, the headache was gone. Whee! But, thunk, too. It left behind that really drugged out feeling where your head and your body don't feel attached, and your head feels stuffed with cotton batting. So I stayed on my bed for another couple of hours, feeling like you used to in elementary school when you needed to throw up, but you didn't want to because then the janitor would come in and sprinkle that sawdusty stuff on it and you just sat completely still at your desk because if you didn't move, not even an eyelash, maybe you wouldn't throw up. (Just me? Oh, okay.) But, on another side note, I did watch two episodes of "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" , which strangely enough, made me sob uncontrollably. I'm a sucker for that Jeff Conaway. Today, I think I am on the mend. At least I hope so.

Cuter than a sack of puppies.

2008-12-08T09:02:00.003-05:00

My sister and law Tracy and I have tried to start a tradition where we get all the kids matching Christmas PJ's. This year, we got the same style in different colors. My kids absolutely adore theirs, and have been sleeping in them almost every night since they arrived.

Aren't they angels?

Or maybe not.

I am tremendously blessed.

2008-12-03T14:39:00.003-05:00

There was a little mix-up this morning and Jeremiah's lunch did not get packed. At 10:58am, I got a phone call from Rebekah Haught, Jeremiah's kindergarten teacher. Instead of the pizza that Rusty thought was being served for lunch, it was instead.....Salisbury steak. (Anyone who knows my son immediately knows that he would as soon eat his tennis shoes than something called Salisbury steak). She asked if there was any way he would eat it, and of course, I had to say no. I had visions of having to run home and whip up a PB and J for him, but Rebekah came to my rescue. She actually went to McDonald's and bought him a Happy Meal. I must remember this any time I feel frustrated with the kid's school. Where else would a teacher go buy her student a Happy Meal just so he would have a lunch? I'm pretty sure I won't get that in the public school. Thanks, Rebekah. You rock.